Ideas that add up #78

WASHINGTON, DC–According to an EPA study conducted in conjunction with the U.N. Task Force On Global Developmental Impact, consumer-product diversity now exceeds biodiversity.

“Last year’s introduction of Dentyne Ice Cinnamint gum, right on the heels of the extinction of the Carolina tufted hen, put product diversity on top for the first time,” study chair Donald Hargrove said.

The sharp rise in consumer-product diversity–with more than 200 million new purchasing options generated since 1993–comes as welcome news for those upset over the dwindling number of plant and animal species.

The Onion, Issue 3412

Quite. A few years ago a (real) survey concluded that the average developed-world five-year-old knows around 100 commercial brands and five varieties of local flora — and estimated that those figures were reversed before the 20th century.

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